Julie Andrews...will you sing this for me?

So, Emily and her friend, Holly, had the idea for a handful of peeps to blog a list of ten of our "must-haves" or as Julie Andrews would say...a few of my favorite things in no order whatsoever.



1. my sketchbook
my secret passion...something I've been doing since I was 5 years old...i hide in it sometimes to remind me of me

2. crosswords
I know, I'm a grandma...but I'm preventing dementia by doing so, and I'll be laughing at you all when you can't remember anything...ha suckas! Oh, and I do them so often, I only use pen.

3. guitar hero
and Rock Band for that matter, but the former will always be my first love cause' Amy Cooper and I go crazy over "One" by Metallica

4. felicity
If I were an addict, Felicity would be my drug of choice. It's gotten me through some hard times and I'm proud to say I've watched all 4 seasons completely through at least 5 times...yeah, that good!

5. movie popcorn

I don't even know how to explain my obession with this one...here goes. Popcorn is my favorite food...I'd eat it all the time if I could and I've been known to eat it as a meal on more than 100 occasions. My mom also shares this crazy passion...we love movie popcorn so much that we used to go to the movies, buy popcorn and leave just to have it at home:) (and yes, I put up Keri Russell from Felicity eating popcorn)

6. rhapsody

I have reason to believe Rhapsody kicks itunes in the face and other unmentionable parts. It keeps me connected to all things musically delicious.

7. the elliptical machine

keeping me bootylicious since 2004

8. iced coffee

from anywhere...Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, McDonalds...it's amazing!

9. the straightening iron
I no longer have to wash my hair every single minute thanks to this little puppy.

10. post-it notes
Oh, you little color-coded emulicified keepers of my thoughts!

Quarter-Life Crisis

I'm completely convinced that our 20's will be the most difficult time in our lives. I'm a little over half way through them and it still feels like the heartache, loneliness and confusion remain victorious in their relentless pursuit to beat me to an emotional pulp.

I'm also convinced you can't avoid it...you simply have to cling to the hope that Christ will simply get you through them and on the other side with an increased amount of self-realization.

So, in order to remind myself of that far-off outcome in the midst of the chaos, I decided to write some notes to my future self, which you actually can do at FutureMe.org...just type em' in and set a date...here's one of mine...

Dear December 12th Future Me (6 months away),
Remember 6 months ago when you moved to Dallas, because you hated Lubbock, but then totally ended up hating Dallas too? Well, bask in all that is good now, because you know you totally love it now. Just remember from here on out that no decision you make on your own is a poor decision.

You better be in a better job or at least have tried super hard to get one. You also better be admiring your Charlie Brown christmas tree you didn't put up last year during another seemingly large crisis...unemployment. Now, see you got out of that didn't you?! Remember to buy mom and dad something really great for Christmas since they basically snatch you out of danger with their crazy grace everytime you decide to take a leap without looking.

Start packing for your super-sweet New Year's Vegas trip and please remember that you are prone to addictive behavior...try not to do anything that future future you wouldn't like, but have a kick a@# time! Tell everyone you love that you really do...it's worth it.

Yours,
Jacked-up and confused present April

Likened to a Snarling Dog

So, you know how I told you vaguely how I met this stranger at my apartment complex who was ready and willing to take over my lease? Well, he backed out!

This happened a little over a week ago, but I wasn't sure I was ready to blog about it...the anger may have come out in words too inappropriate for your dear eyes. I guess now I'm ready. Long story short, I'm screwed. Okay, maybe I'm not fully over it. I had already signed a lease at a new apartment by the time he decided to back out on me. So, now I'm stuck with a big fat breaking my lease fee...I won't even tell you how much it is...it might hurt your eyes more than the inappropriate words I was talking about using.......yeah, that bad!

The reason I decided to share is because twice in one day, I heard the following phrase..."Well, it just goes to show that you can't trust ANYONE". In the heat of moment, I think I nodded, but I got to thinking...what makes someone such a cynic?? Then I got to really thinking...am I a cynic? Sometimes I know I am. Sometimes I wish I were...just to make me a little harder...a little less sensitive...a little less trusting.

I looked up the word cynic and my favorite definition was "resembling that of a snarling dog". It made sense to think of quite possibly the most loyal animal on the planet becoming angry and totally distrusting. That's a cynic. That's what happened to this world...no one trusts anyone anymore. What ever happened to "my word is stronger than oak"?

I don't know...maybe I should have been a cynic in the apartment scenario. But, I don't want to be likened to a snarling dog, no matter how much money I have to pay for believing in the good nature of human beings. Maybe that makes me naive...gullible even...but...

...isn't that what it's all about anyway? Giving someone else the confidence that you believe they can be better than they've chosen to be and still believing in them even when they choose not to?

That's the Gospel suckas...straight up love and grace!

Moobs

Today on the MSN home page, one of the little subtitles was "Tips to Getting Rid of 'moobs'". I laughed so hard my "landles" hurt......love handles;)

Seeing without Believing

I love television and movies...particularly drama-based series...anything that involves scripted lives inter-mingling with unpredictable and sometimes catastrophic events. I've been thinking a lot about it, only because after watching such a program, I'm almost always left with a sense of inspiration.

Here's what does it for me. These people in their make believe lives always seem to be able to say exactly what they mean...even if they don't say it at first, they say it eventually. They're always so brave in their actions and more often than not, end up throwing caution to the wind in pursuit of those actions. Additionally, we, the viewers, are always optimistic that the beloved characters' lives will end up well, no matter how hard they get hit with the bad...no matter what unsurmountable mountain they must climb to get there...we believe...because of one thing...

HOPE. Hope that the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 will be rescued...hope that Meredith and Derek will live happily ever after......tear-provoking, adrenaline-pumping hope!

So, all that being said, here's what I've been thinking about. Why is it that in our own lives, especially as believers, we can set aside time every week to guzzle up all the hope we can in more than one television show or even a movie and yet not believe what we see? What I mean is, how are our lives not so much more hope-filled than these fictional characters' lives?

Why can't we see that hope for us has illuminated infinitely into faith? I've been more than a little convicted about this and hear me when I say that I'm not going to stop watching television...it's too fantastic. But, also hear me when I say that from now on I'll be watching it with my very own UN-FICTIONAL hope in mind.

So, the next time you see something that is of this world and it manages to move you in some way, believe...believe that what you feel at that moment is immeasurably smaller than what we we can feel when we simply cling to the fact that we believe in what cannot be seen!!

The Week in Short Blurbs

Every now and again, when I journal, I write down one sentence explanations for stories that will ultimately be better re-told from my mouth or re-envisioned in my mind. They are such crazy stories that written word could do no justice, simply because they need my animated ridiculousness paired with it. The following is such a list...

1. Drove to Ft. Worth alone to meet people I didn't know (and who could have possibly turned out to be crazy) to sell the four-legged chocolate love of my life of four days...
2. In an irritated trip to the apartment office to break my lease after 3 months, met another irritated resident who is suprisingly willing to sublet my apartment...
3. Freaked out for 24 hours from giving a stranger my apartment number and phone number...what was I thinking?!
4. Made my future roommate, Amy, come over to spend the night just in case I needed a witness to my death, because the strange other resident was coming over...
5. I'm still alive and so is Amy, although it was a little touch and go...

Zoe has a new home and Amy and I are going apartment shopping on Sunday...my parents would so not be proud of my trusting ways...

Zoe...my 4 day gift!

Here's a story about a silly girl named April who bought a chocolate lab on Saturday and who is interviewing her potential families this evening...Tuesday...4 days later!! Now that I look back on it, I really don't know how it happened. It was all kind of a blur...excitedness, fear, confusion...all running together in the moment.

The funny thing is that I thought I was ready...like, really ready. I had been thinking about it for months, even before I moved to Dallas. Monday night, I took her, Zoe, on a long walk and when I came back to the apartment, somewhere between cooking fajita meat and heating up rice, I just lost it. I broke down for the first time in a long time...I haven't cried in months...

I left and took her to a friend's house to get some perspective. I realized very quickly that I can't do this...have a puppy...wake up at 3 in the morning...sacrifice my time for her. It was the weirdest realization ever, because it was so not how I thought I was going to react. I love animals...I mean I used to want to be a vet.

I tried to figure out why it was so hard. It wasn't her...she's doing great...potty training, listening, sleeping in her crate...I just wasn't ready to be unselfish. I'm still trying to accept the fact that I'm not ready to give up my freedom...my nights out with friends till the wee hours of the morning...my sleeping through the night...my super clean house. It's been a rough 2o hours for me, but God showed me some pretty big things in the midst of it all.

1. As much as I wail about baby fever, I'm not nearly ready to be there.
2. I make too many decisions based on emotion.
3. I bought Zoe, because I am unhappy, sad and lonely and I thought she could change that, but I've got some conversations to have between myself and God about why I'm really unhappy.

It's funny sometimes how God uses very simple and innocent things to illuminate your deepest struggles. So, I'm counting Zoe as a gift, no matter how sad I am that I couldn't be what she needed. Pray I find a good family for her.

Till next time...
apes