Monday, July 21, 2008

The Uncommitted

because sometimes I don't know how to express it any other way...

The Uncommitted

You with your shady eyes and your flakey stares
coupled in harmony with your poisoned mouth
that spouts off "I'll do thats" and "I'll be theres".

You push me over with your hot, self-infused air
making me slip farther and deeper into pending
wondering if the tick-tocks, you'll ever render shared.

This oneth of a oneth of an hour,
you gave me the sipping device
that finally made that two-humped desert taxi lose it's power.

With it's break, I found my strength
no longer to masochistically hope
that your luke-warm tongue inflicting pain

will ever again trick me into queing
every hanger holding upward frown
I've held in from all the stewing.

Say what you mean and mean what you say
makes you cringe as you stare in it's mirrored phrase
loathing the truth in it's utter cliche.

The uncommitted
they're everywhere, they're everywhere
leaving a messy residue with their flakey stares.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Just for the Record...

It has been brought to my attention that the deep and sometimes darkened nature of my posts has left a shadow of unbelief that I am indeed a happy girl.

I apologize if it seems as though it has become a "complaint board", because that was never and will never be my intention. I struggle...plain and simple...and have yet to find a solitary human being here who has enough of my confidence to voice my struggles to and to feel assured that whoever that may be will jack me up when I need to be jacked up or hug me until I can breathe again.

Therefore...just for the record...I am indeed a happy girl. More often than not, I simply choose not to blog about rainbows when I would rather blog about the rain.

I really am sorry it's been so stormy here...I feel a rainbow on the horizon.

Monday, July 7, 2008


Yesterday, God broke me down by shining a light on the mess I've made. Without getting too intimate and for lack of a summarized explanation, I will simply say...I feel as though I've lost my influence in one of my friendships.

In an attempt to "go with the flow", I compromised myself and in the process became an accomplice to the unwise decisions my friend has decided to make.

So, now I'm standing in front of the mirror and I feel unrecognizable. Here's my question and one I probably won't get an answer to until I just trial and error the do you get your influence back in a relationship when the other person finds comfort in that loss? I mean, I know you can, but I fear I'm in for a whole heck of a lot of pain, you know?

Yesterday, I realized my friend was at the bottom of the ladder and pulled me down pretty fast from the top. But in the aftermath, as I am still unrecognizable, tirelessly searching for my cloak of spiritual strength, wanting to hide in it's warmth...God decided to meet me at the bottom of the ladder to help me get back up.

As I finish this very revealing post, I ask of you one thing...that you of like mind and faith would tell me when I've become unrecognizable...

I miss aches in my soul.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Dang Song!

Okay, so she kissed a girl and she liked it...but I still really like her cd. Of course, I'm referring to Katy Perry. If you haven't heard of her, I'm assuming you've been hiding under a rock, because her single, "I Kissed a Girl", is number one on the charts right now.

That stupid song...I hate it because I don't agree with it morally, and yet it's so freakin catchy that I keep singing it....ahhhhhh! This morning, I heard her on Kidd Kraddick, whom I love, so I decided to listen to her entire album. It's sassy and humorous...likened to Lily Allen minus the british accent.

I like it...the whole dang thing.....judge me if you will, but listen to it first. The other 11 tracks are fun and besides, I know you caught yourself singing it the other day in the car!