Monday, July 7, 2008


Yesterday, God broke me down by shining a light on the mess I've made. Without getting too intimate and for lack of a summarized explanation, I will simply say...I feel as though I've lost my influence in one of my friendships.

In an attempt to "go with the flow", I compromised myself and in the process became an accomplice to the unwise decisions my friend has decided to make.

So, now I'm standing in front of the mirror and I feel unrecognizable. Here's my question and one I probably won't get an answer to until I just trial and error the do you get your influence back in a relationship when the other person finds comfort in that loss? I mean, I know you can, but I fear I'm in for a whole heck of a lot of pain, you know?

Yesterday, I realized my friend was at the bottom of the ladder and pulled me down pretty fast from the top. But in the aftermath, as I am still unrecognizable, tirelessly searching for my cloak of spiritual strength, wanting to hide in it's warmth...God decided to meet me at the bottom of the ladder to help me get back up.

As I finish this very revealing post, I ask of you one thing...that you of like mind and faith would tell me when I've become unrecognizable...

I miss aches in my soul.


Emily said...

i feel like 'being real' in this situation will be your witness. i mean, if the people you are witnessing to think you are perfect, then that's a disaster waiting to happen. when YOU are able to find God's grace in this situation, for yourself, and when you are able to accept His forgiveness for yourself...what a great thing to share with your friend. we all mess up (i know, it's not as simple as writing it like that in a blog comment), but God's grace is forever. i can't think of a better way to show God's love.

Brianna or Justin said...

What would you want/need in that situation? How did God meet you and bring you up? To me you have to recognize two things: 1) You screwed up and you recognize that..confess it to God (which sounds like you have) and to those you hurt 2)Ask the Holy Spirit to intervene, because ultimately HE is your influence and the only motivator we have to turn around. I will definitely be praying for you and for wisdom. isaiah 43 1-4, psalm 38, ps 86:11, 1 peter 4:11 These are just a few verses that come to mind quickly.