Making God your Garmin

"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." Lao Tzu

I'm not a Taoist, so don't misunderstand the above quote as a declaration of belief. It just brought some clarity.

Before Garmin or TomTom, there was Mapquest. Before that, navigation usually took the form of almost indecipherable words written down on a crumpled piece of paper half eaten by time that you found in the back seat of your car. And even farther back than that...think a wagon on The Oregon Trail with your kid almost dying from Typhoid...navigation came mostly from memory in the form of the recognition of signs along the way.

More often than not, I'm not sure I'm even lost until well off the beaten track. It's when I see nothing of familiarity...no landmarks of reassurance. On this roadway, path, highway (whatever you wanna call it) of life, we too often miss the signs along the way when we are heading in the wrong direction. Why??

Personally, I see a few reasons.
1. Denial. Denial that you could ever be wrong or lost.
2. Pride. Pride in your own ability to get somewhere without any help along the way.
3. Distraction. Distracted by the noise around you, that of differing opinions and advice.
4. Stubbornness. The hesitance to change course.

The last one is most convicting in my life, because I do it ALL the time. I think to myself, "If I just go a little further, just a little bit further, maybe THIS course will just turn into the right one", even though my gut always tells me otherwise. The signs are clear, but I choose to ignore them.

Today as I write this, I'm in the aftermath of a course change. And, let me tell you, I'm taking everything into consideration now. I'm looking at the path I was headed down and recognizing the utter ridiculousness of it. I feel like I can see the signs clearer now thanks to the experience of the road most taken.

Without going into details about what spawned this course change, I will just say that it took an immense amount of letting go to take the initiative to turn that wheel. The two hardest parts of changing course are the letting go and the not looking back. The last is probably the harder of the two.

Change is never easy, but being comfortable is not a call on our lives as believers. We were meant to struggle and persevere and come out on the other side changed for the better...sanctification. By warring against the change, I was blockading sanctification. In this particular instance, God turned the wheel for me, but I'm praying that in the future, when He asks me to drive a different direction, I'll be obedient enough to turn around the first time He asks.

apes

Rain Down on Me

In 27 years of life, I've learned this one thing to be true...the greatest of my lessons are learned amidst the storm.

I can move my head ever so slighty to the right and see the drops falling at this very minute through the tattered window and the drops are but a physical manifestation of the metaphorical storm I find myself in. The clouds began to form months ago, but just sparce enough to allow for a ray here and there to hit my face with a burst of life. The clouds have become noticably denser and I find myself in the eye of the storm now.

I think storms can take different forms. For some it is soaked in hardship. For some it is soaked in loss. For me, at this moment, it is a trifecta of the two aforementioned and this...the one soaked in and unwillingness to change. It's funny how the clouds tend to illuminate the darkness. That's where I am right now. The darkest parts of my heart are being illuminated and it hurts.

However painful any storm may be, it's a sweet release to watch the rain fall. It reminds me of the cliche metaphors...as much as I hate cliches, cliches wouldn't be cliches if they weren't somewhat true, right?! Okay, so cliche metaphors...tears, cleansing, washing away the old, etc. You get the point. However, if you sit for a just a minute and let the rain hit your face;), you recognize other intensely beautiful things about it...

Rain is a symbol of the renewal of life, a promise of survival and most importantly a reminder of God's mercy. Water is the life source. If storms never came, we wouldn't be able to survive. Drought would ensue. Storms are necessary. And at any moment, God could let the rain be a danger to us, but he promised he would never again do that after Noah. When he lets it rain, it's a reminder that He is merciful always. He has the power to take us at any moment through an inescapable flood, but He doesn't. He is a merciful Father.

He let's it rain just long enough for us to recognize how small we are, how sinful we are, how out of control we are and at the root of it all, He gives us hope that the sun will shine again if we will just wait out the storm.

Waiting it out...
apes

A Refining Fire

My church, The Village Church, is going through a refining fire right now. Matt Chandler, the lead pastor, had a seizure on Thanksgiving, fell, hit is head and had to go to the hospital. They found a small mass in his frontal lobe. He is either on his way or currently at the neurosurgeon's office right now. I can't express to you what's happening in our church right now...amongst my friend's whom I walk with on a daily basis...in myself. We are being refined. We are waiting. We are praying. Please pray for the Chandler family. Here is a letter written from the elders of our church addressing Matt's current situation.

http://www.facebook.com/notes/what-god-is-doing-at-the-village-church/from-our-elders-concerning-matt-and-his-health/185457443946

apes

Shepherding Well

It's been nearly 2 months since I last blogged and a lot has been going on, but the most notable to date has been the explosion of people wanting to plug in at The Village. A couple of months ago, I had 27 women sign up to be in my small group...that's in addition to the 10 women I already had. Needless to say, I was a little overwhelmed. It's running closer to 20-25 now, but I had no idea how I was going to tackle leading a group that size.

As of now, it's still a trial and error situation, but it has gotten easier as the weeks go by. Last week, Matt said something in regards to shepherding and it really hit me. "When you are shepherding a flock, the role of the shepherd is not to be in the middle with the happy sheep, but on the outskirts with the sheep in danger".

I have to be honest, it stung a little. I haven't been doing a very good job of corralling the sheep in danger, i.e. those struggling the most. And even more than that, I like to stay in the middle with the happy sheep, the ones that aren't in need of repentence, at least at the moment. Jesus addresses this in a parable in Luke 15 charging us to go after that one sheep that is inching farther away and closer to the false prophets dressed in sheep's clothing that He mentions in Matthew 7:15.

It's changed the way I look at my group and at the world as a whole. I get so caught up in the sweetness of community...in my bubble that I don't go after the lost sheep. It's hard to admit that staying in the flock is fun. It's easy. It's comfortable.

I'm a happy sheep...wait, ewe? Whatever, I'm happy, but there are others who are not, who need to be reconciled to Him. And, it's my job...nay, my responsibility as a believer. When was the last time you left the flock to chase down a sheep going astray? When was the last time you ached for the soul of another? It will refine the mess out of you and I speak from experience.

Shepherding is difficult, but it is something we have all been called to on some level...to lay down ourselves for the sake of another.

apes

An Undivided Heart

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11

The other day I read that in Hong Kong when you hand someone something, using one hand is considered rude. They always hold things with both hands. So, even in the smallest acts...handing over your credit card, your money, passing the salt...it is to be done with both hands. Multi-tasking is therefore diminished.

Throughout this season of unemployment, God has done a swell job of illuminating the sin in my life. Of the countless, one is multi-tasking. Alot of the multi-tasking that takes place in my life is in the every day tasks...applying for jobs, while having 2 or 3 gchat conversations, while making toast, while watching tv, while I send a text message and on and on and on and on. But, because of the daily habit I've created in the menial things, I've managed to carry it over into my spiritual life.

I find it hard to concentrate while I spend time with the Lord. Taking an hour of uninterrupted time (that I obviously have now thanks to no agenda) to spend time in His word and to spend time talking to Him has proven rather difficult. I'm constantly divided. My heart is in a million places at once....thinking of the coffee date I need to set up with a friend...about the email I need to send for my small group.

Keep in mind, that none of the things I've listed above are quote unquote bad. The things that I dwell on when I'm supposed to be spending time with Him are beneficial, but I've come to realize very quickly that they are in fact distractions. They are paths I use to run away without feeling like I'm running to far from Him as they are categorized in my mind in the genre of good deeds.

So many times, I come to Him with one hand, all the while holding on to something else in the other...something that will inevitably pass away as it is rooted in the flesh.

He longs for an undivided heart. I pray I long for it too.

apes

Peace

It is highly unlikely that my mom will read this, but I'm going to write it anyway. (See, Festa, sometimes I do just write it without the intention of it being read;) I just had one of the sweetest conversations with my mom. Usually, if we exceed 10 minutes, it turns into sweetness...guaranteed...and I forget that more often than not.

She is by far one of the Godliest women I know. Our conversation today began with the normal chit chat and quickly progressed into the two of us sharing exactly what has been on our hearts. For fear of this turning into a novel, I will just say, we are in the same place right now and God has been convicting us eerily of the same things. It is beautiful.

In 7 days, I will officially be unemployed. I've never been more at peace in my life.
Tomorrow, her and my dad are putting our house on the market. They have never been more at peace in their life.

I don't know what's going to happen. They don't know what's going to happen. But, this is freakin sweet. I feel God doing something really mighty in our family and preparing us for things to come. My peace is overflowing into joy now.

I'm pumped. Talk soon.

apes

Music for Thought

I really like Regina Spektor, but I'm really diggin her new cd in particular. There's a song on it that really got me thinking...Laughing With. Take a listen and read the lyrics along. See what you think.



No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one's laughing at God when it's gotten real late and their kid's not back from that party yet

No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one's laughing at God when they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else and they hope that they're mistaken
No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door and they say "We've got some bad new, sir,"
No one's laughing at God when there's a famine, fire or flood

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head you think that they're about to choke

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus

God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they've lost all they got and they don't know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize that the last sight they'll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes
No one's laughing at God when they're saying their goodbyes

Chorus

God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God in a hospital
No one's laughing at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one's laughing at God
No one's laughing at God
No one's laughing at God
We're all laughing with God