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Sunday, September 13, 2009

An Undivided Heart

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11

The other day I read that in Hong Kong when you hand someone something, using one hand is considered rude. They always hold things with both hands. So, even in the smallest acts...handing over your credit card, your money, passing the salt...it is to be done with both hands. Multi-tasking is therefore diminished.

Throughout this season of unemployment, God has done a swell job of illuminating the sin in my life. Of the countless, one is multi-tasking. Alot of the multi-tasking that takes place in my life is in the every day tasks...applying for jobs, while having 2 or 3 gchat conversations, while making toast, while watching tv, while I send a text message and on and on and on and on. But, because of the daily habit I've created in the menial things, I've managed to carry it over into my spiritual life.

I find it hard to concentrate while I spend time with the Lord. Taking an hour of uninterrupted time (that I obviously have now thanks to no agenda) to spend time in His word and to spend time talking to Him has proven rather difficult. I'm constantly divided. My heart is in a million places at once....thinking of the coffee date I need to set up with a friend...about the email I need to send for my small group.

Keep in mind, that none of the things I've listed above are quote unquote bad. The things that I dwell on when I'm supposed to be spending time with Him are beneficial, but I've come to realize very quickly that they are in fact distractions. They are paths I use to run away without feeling like I'm running to far from Him as they are categorized in my mind in the genre of good deeds.

So many times, I come to Him with one hand, all the while holding on to something else in the other...something that will inevitably pass away as it is rooted in the flesh.

He longs for an undivided heart. I pray I long for it too.

apes